The Risk it took to blossom
"And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
That line, from a poem by Anaïs Nin, is the catalyst that inspired this piece. It resonated with me so deeply that I knew I had to translate it into a drawing — and I want to walk you through both how I made it and what it means to me.
About this Piece
The Risk It Took to Blossom was created using white pastel and colored pencil on black paper. I chose black paper for a specific reason: I wanted the figure, the roses and butterflies to look like they were emerging out of the darkness — moving from dark into light, which mirrors symbolic meaning behind this piece.
The Process
I start with straight line construction — using straight lines (not curves) to build the contour line of the hands/flowers, then checking the angles against my reference before I ever curve anything out. It's a process of constant push and pull: adjust, check, adjust again, until the placement feels right.
Working on black paper is completely opposite to how we’re taught to draw. On white paper, you're adding dark charcoal onto a light surface. On black paper, it's the opposite — you're adding light onto dark, literally bringing the figure out of the darkness. That element—from darkness to light—is part of what draws me to black paper again and again.
For the portrait, I built up the skin tones in layers with the Stabilo Carbothello pastel pencil, following the cross-contour of the face rather than laying in flat lines, then blending with a Q-tip (yes, Q-tips can be a great art supply!)
The angle of this particular pose — the head tilted upward — was tricky! The more extreme the angle, the trickier the proportions get, especially around the nose, mouth, and ears. It pushed me, which is exactly the kind of challenge that I look for (even if it drives me crazy sometimes, haha).
Then came beautiful, glorious color with the roses and butterflies. I built the roses in layers too, but this time using colored pencils. I started with a light pink base, adding lighter pink or yellow for highlights, and darker reds or browns for the shadows. It was intentional to keep the figure black and white, while having the roses and butterflies be in full color. The black and white represents a kind of death before rebirth, and the color represents the figure embracing her new identity, blooming into her new life.
The Meaning
The butterflies are the most symbolically loaded part of this piece. They've represented metamorphosis, death, and rebirth for centuries — the shift from one identity into another. Which is why I thought they were perfect for this piece.
The title for this piece — The Risk It Took to Blossom — comes straight from Anaïs Nin's poem Risk, where she writes that staying tightly closed in a bud is more painful than the risk of blossoming. That idea has stayed with me because for me it's about the fear of being fully seen — staying safe inside a persona that's acceptable, responsible, looking for approval, instead of risking rejection by being fully seen. Being fully yourself.
This piece is about letting go of the "good girl" — the one who's always responsible, always keeping it together — and instead allowing myself to bloom, imperfections and all. Staying closed off to feel safe hurts more, in the end, than the risk of opening up.
That's really what I do with my work: I take what I'm going through personally, basically laying my heart open, and put it on paper. It's how I process my own experience, and it's also a way to connect with anyone out there going through something similar — even if they don't have the words for it yet. That’s the power of art. It can remind us we're not alone in this challenging and amazing experience we call life.
Watch the Process
If you'd love to see this drawing come together in motion — every layer, every correction, every pencil mark on that black paper — I walk you through the whole process on video here: The Risk It Took to Blossom.
Thank you for following me on my artistic journey and for your support. Until next time!
This piece is still available. If it resonated with you and you’d love to make it a part of your life and home, you can inquire through my website’s contact page or visit the gallery’s page here.
If you'd like to see the full, extended process behind this drawing — including the parts that didn't make the YouTube cut — it’s available in my Patreon community, The Collector's Corner.